Thoughts are not necessarily facts. Thoughts are mental events.
The power thoughts have on our lives is tremendous. Thoughts, beliefs, and assumptions strongly affect how we feel and act.
For instance, not getting a timely response to a friend can spur a whirlwind of feelings as we come up with all kinds of meanings behind it–until we discover what happened. Often, there was an understandable interruption of the friend’s own life. Sometimes, friends can think something you did or said was pushing them away.
One of the most helpful therapies to address emotional distress is to root out negative patterns in thinking and shift to more constructive thinking. The approach isn’t to become delusional with positivity, but to challenge the negative biases.
Mindful thinking involves being aware of the nature of our thoughts as mental events, observing them as if they are clouds passing by in various shapes. We can even mindfully play with our thoughts by asking questions such as, “Could the opposite be true?”
We may realize that thinking, for example, ”I should be perfect,” is perhaps only as accurate as the thought, “I should not be perfect.” Perhaps a mindfully intentional shift to a more certain thought would be helpful, such as, “I’ll try to do well and at least be satisfied that I tried.”
